Tuesday, 12 July 2011


Today, I took a tally. Every time I found myself complaining about something - even if it was a moan and resentful thought - I drew a line on my hand. I'm sure I probably missed a few, but I counted seven. It's something I plan to do again tomorrow, because I want to do better than seven. I want to reach the point where I can let out my frustrations in such a way that I don't have to draw a single line on my hand eventually.

I don't know if I'll succeed, but it will be interesting trying, and seeing the effect that it has on me, and maybe other people too. Once, I tried this experiment over the course of one lesson, during ICT, a subject that I frankly despise. I sat down and thought "I'm going to try not to moan or complain or even sigh too much during this hour." I almost made it until I casually made a comment to my neighbour about how annoying it was that I have to doggedly pursue my target grade, my own wishes notwithstanding.

What was interesting is I actually felt quite a bit more upbeat in that lesson. And making myself quit complaining made me see other people; how negative we all are, all the time. I know I'm very guilty of that myself. I'm watching myself a lot more, though, trying to quit the negativity and be a more positive person.

I hope I'm on to something here, I really do. I hope that the secret to a positive attitude doesn't lie in all kinds of pharmacological, new age, cheap trash magazine bullshit. I hope that maybe, if I can learn to stop complaining, that that will make all the difference...

Edit: Okay, now it's nine. I banged my head on a shelf and then my computer closed down.

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